Sometimes conversations with an artificial intelligence can take odd turns.  Querying Microsoft Copilot Chat Generative Pretrained Transformer about the grammar of pluralizing "Unix" and "Linux" and then coming across an article that ChatGPT should never talk about goblins produced this result….

A Goblin Opera of Linuxes, Linuces, and Linuxen

The First Screeching — the Summoning of the Plurals

The cave goes dark.  A single goblin with a cracked mandolin steps forward.  The "orchestra", consisting of three goblins banging on pots, begins.

Goblin Chorus: Unixes!  Unices!  Linuxes!  Linuces!  Linuxen!  Which one true?  Which one false?  Which one tastes like chicken?

Goblin Scholar Grubwort: O wise goblins, gather round!  Humans argue over plurals!  They fight!  They bicker!  They write angry blog posts!  We must decide the true plural!

The Second Screeching — the Trial of the Plurals

A giant stone tablet is dragged in.  It breaks into three pieces and the goblins cheer.

Candidate the First: "Linuxes"

Goblin Judge Snaggletooth: Linuxes follow English rule.  Add '-es' to a word ending in '-x'.  Very boring!  Very correct!  Very edible!

Goblin Jury: Acceptable!  Crunchy!

Candidate the Second: "Linuxen"

Goblin Bard Squeakfoot: Linuxen follow ancient goblin tradition: if word sound funny, add '-en'!  Ox to oxen!  Box to boxen!  Linux to Linuxen!

Goblin Jury: Delightful!  Chaotic!  Approved!

Candidate the Third: "Linuces"

Goblin Necromancer Moldyshanks: I summon the forbidden plural!  Linuces!  Fake Latin!  Pseudo‑Latin!  Goblin Latin!  A plural so cursed even Romans say 'no, thank you'.

Goblin Jury: Terrifying!  We love it!

The Third Screeching — the Final Verdict

Chief Goblin Bangsnout: After long debate of four minutes, the Goblin Council declares… all plurals are valid!  Use whichever makes the humans most confused!

Goblin Chorus: Unixes!  Unices!  Linuxes!  Linuces!  Linuxen!  We sing them all!  We eat the dictionary!

The opera ends with a goblin falling off the stage.  Another steals the conductor’s stick.

Goblin Chorus: No grammar police can stop us!

Curtain falls.  Curtain catches fire.  Goblins cheer louder.

[dancing goblin]

Image of a penguinesque green dancing goblin created by Nicole Sharp with the assistance of Microsoft Copilot.  The dancing goblin pictured is wearing a dress, a cape, and earrings.  Her arms are outstretched and one foot is lifted.  Her toes and fingers have long claws.  Her eyes bulge and she has a long lopsided tongue that hangs from her open beak.  Based upon work by John Batten from Wikimedia Commons.

references

  1. Microsoft Network: "OpenAI Tells ChatGPT Models to Stop Talking About Goblins" by Liv McMahon of British Broadcasting Corporation News
  2. MSN: "ChatGPT Has a 'Goblin' Obsession; Now We Know Why" by Ben Patterson of Personal Computer World